← Back to portfolio
Published on

An Ode To Baby Teeth

     When Love Arrives is a poem that animates the expectations versus the realities of what love is. It is especially remarkable in the way that it is delivered by two authors, Phil Kaye and Sarah Kay. Contrary to popular belief due to their similar sounding surnames, the two are not married or related but did attend Brown University at the same time where they met at a freshman talent show, both showcasing their spoken word poetry. Phil uses his down-to-earth sense of humor to add warmth to his otherwise-tear-jerking work whereas Sarah utilizes awe and earnestness to captivate till her very last word. This made for a great read with its casual diction and ambivalent tone from all the mixed emotion. Together they composed a poem that captured the essence of falling in love as a cultural phenomenon at its best and worst. Though the performance they gave was truly striking, the literature itself is exceptional enough to stand alone as a reminder to keep an open mind and heart when it comes to loving people - welcome and accept them even if they aren’t what you envisioned, and not to seek out a specific love but stay receptive to new lovers if others leave.

     The opener is a unison statement where they both matter-of-factly tell us how they knew exactly what Love looked like... in the seventh grade. Sarah fantasizes about a boy who can serenade her with her favorite Beatles songs on acoustic guitar while Phil envisions a girl in a French braid who is not afraid of being seen with him, and they both are certain that if such a person wandered into their homeroom that they would recognize them at first glance. The hunt for this ideal person continues when they assure us their lover exists and the only reason they have yet to meet is because they were checking the wrong classrooms and hallways at school. Right off the bat, this is dramatic irony for anyone over the age of 11 because pre-teens have a naïve concept of love. This is proven in providing us with the fact that they genuinely thought they knew what love was, and that they believed it had to be a singular stagnant concept based on some random criteria in order to be real. Because of this preconceived idea they fostered, they were both actively searching for someone who fits that mold therefore overlooking other great people just because they lacked those identifying qualities. Fast forward to Love finally showing up – they look, and act differently than the authors were expecting, to their dismay. It is important to note that just by simply having shorter hair or a different musical preference, Love was undeservingly met with reservation. But by revealing that these are the people that the authors will love anyways shows that love is arbitrary in both who we fall for and when it happens.

     The metaphor “every time I tried to kiss Love, our teeth got in the way” represents shattered childish expectations since the youth is more likely to romanticize a first kiss as a dreamy fairy-tale smooch as opposed to the awkward callow situation that it actually is. Phil and Sarah continue to paint the picture of embarrassing interactions they endure for the sake of their lovers to show how loving somebody sometimes means doing things you are not good at to indulge them or facing your fears to accommodate them. Sarah uses the simile “stretched like a trampoline” to symbolize the ups and downs while still implying the fun of it like the cliché rollercoaster metaphor. Phil is the bearer of a lifetime of foreshadowing when he unveils to us that “Love changed” – it was sudden but so gradual that it was hardly noticeable. Sarah provides us with another simile this time comparing that evaporation of love to losing baby teeth. This is a stellar reference to the part of the poem explaining what happened every time they tried to kiss because those teeth and these teeth are the same ones! Like the undergoing of your first set of teeth falling out, heartbreak is a painful new concept where it never even occurred to the person braving the encounter that something they thought was permanent in their life would ultimately have to exit it. Granted it is difficult to imagine what once felt so necessary in your life as temporary, we can find solace in the fact that they are only making room for something better for us that absolutely comes after they go – just like breakups.

     “Love stayed away for years, and when Love finally reappeared, I barely recognized him.” This line offers a stark contrast from the once proud middle school Sarah that could have picked her future lover out of a lineup! Though it is not mentioned whether this new person rocks a hemp necklace, he is described as acutely different to her first love; the same is applicable for Phil. The purpose of this part of the poem is to show us again how love can catch you off-guard, in terms of when it will show up and how it appears. They were at the mercy of time before they got those familiar butterflies and sappy feelings for someone new. Instead of the very first idealized version of love that was ruined by a realistic concept, now they have their reformed concept that was based around their ex to compare new love interests to. Therefore the descriptors of them including “smelled different”, “broader back”, and “softer voice” aren’t necessarily traits, but comparisons to the person before them. This indicates what will become a subconscious obstacle in all relationships henceforth – baggage. The succeeding line “Love had songs that reminded him of someone else, songs Love didn’t like to listen to... so did I” is also a metaphor, for how we harbor things from previous relationships and unintentionally always compare new people we love to the old.

     It can also be inferred that love looks different because the authors are older so their needs for what constitutes love have grown with them. Text examples that support this include “Love made me fresh homemade chocolate chip cookies” to convey an admiration for domestic gestures and “Love looks great in lingerie” to insinuate the two engage in sex, with both being new aspects since this relationship is between adults instead of teenagers. This is even acknowledged in the admission “Love is messier now, not as simple” because of the toll adulthood has on relationships. When you’re a high schooler, you have the convenience of sharing a class with your crush and the freedom of no responsibility to focus on just your lover. But as we age, aspects like our careers and family and social lives might not be able to take a backseat to a budding romance. You would think something along the lines of that magnitude would be the messiness Phil was addressing but what actually inspired this was the fact that “Love uses the word ‘boobs’ in front of my parents; Love chews too loud; Love leaves the cap off of the toothpaste; Love uses smiley faces in her text messages” … noticing a trend yet? These small idiosyncrasies that irk the authors are oddly enough childish pesters; using these instances could be a hint at how we are not as deviated from our youthful take on love as we think. The cherry on top of this truth bomb sundae would be the simultaneously delivered punchline “And turns out – Love sh*ts!” since it would not be so condemning to be turned off by those common things had choosing to ignore or deny the fact that your partner does mundane tasks like pooping was excluded.

     We can assume those pet peeves were the downfall of that relationship because the poem has come full circle again to the notion of love. The authors have come to terms with the fact that it cannot be expected or predicted. Love will not have a certain look or be a collection of predetermined qualities so we should not even attempt to manifest a specific version of someone before we get the opportunity to meet them. Sarah suggests Love is asleep while you are across the country or world even, wide awake to further communicate how it is unrealistic to seek your next lover – the odds of you both existing in completely different spaces entirely is far too grand to believe that you can look for them and they’ll be in the next aisle over at the grocery store awaiting your meet cute. Phil mulls over the thought of never seeing Love again until decades after a divorce to signify there is no timeline or race to find love because it’s inevitable – he assures us “Love looks older now but just as beautiful as you remember” as if to say even if both parties are old, the connection is new.

     Phil and Sarah take us on an emotional rollercoaster, with our eyes bouncing from poet to poet as they take turns delivering choppy lines like watching a tennis match. “Maybe Love is only there for a month. Maybe Love is there for every firework, every birthday party, every hospital visit, maybe Love stays. Maybe Love can’t... maybe Love shouldn’t.” It was guaranteed that love would show up but never that each would be long-lasting, or even sustainable. In the same way that love was unruly in arrival and appearance, the duration the authors were allotted varied as well. Though time won’t stop you from falling for someone, external factors could affect whether the relationship can be pursued; obviously if Sarah’s love interest were preparing for a major move or Phil met someone that was only visiting town, that could prevent anything more from blossoming. It should also be considered that just because you want a relationship to work out, doesn’t mean it should prosper. That person could be toxic, abusive, married, settling for a life with you in it instead of following a dream... they could even be stopping you from being a better version of yourself or with someone else better suited for you. It is promised again that “Love arrives exactly when Love is supposed to, and Love leaves exactly when Love must.” If this is true, there is no use in trying to seek out love or even sit around waiting for it to find us because we cannot force it to happen. Likewise, we also cannot force ourselves or anyone else for that matter to fall in love if the timing is not right. We are encouraged to keep ourselves open for when love does find us and stay that way for when love reaches its expiration - “When Love arrives, say “Welcome, make yourself comfortable. If Love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her.” This line also grants the benefit of the doubt that it might stick around but if it doesn’t, its absence makes room for more love to come like an ode to baby teeth. Phil and Sarah close with this metaphor personifying love as a visitor to embrace that it comes and goes. They advise us finally to “Turn off the music, listen to the quiet. Whisper, ‘Thank you for stopping by’.”

     What intrigued me the most about this poem was how it was essentially just an extended metaphor with Love representing a host of people, but another angle I considered reading from was the theory that the authors were encountering the same person over and over. The detailed instances of love appearing and leaving then reappearing in a continuous loop was representative of getting back together with the same lover and having to readjust to the new version of them each time. Every aspect could be justified for the most part – new looks could be due to age or generic aesthetic changes; the new personality traits and habits could have developed whilst in the company of another lover. I decided against this interpretation because of certain physical attributes (birthmarks and freckles and a different eye color) that disprove the concept of the first love being the same as the second.

     Despite the immersive breakdown of each line and a deep dive into the figurative language within them, it is not difficult to get so caught up in trying to be analytical that we miss the big picture. This poem could speak volumes to anybody who has ever been in love, but I believe it resonates most with younger people who have immature concepts of love in need of a reality check or hope that love exists after heartbreak too. They would gather that love is not utopian - it is complicated and disappointing in the best ways. Our expectations will be crushed, and we will not think The One we fall for is perfect by a long shot, but they will still be better than we could have imagined. And our concepts of love will grow with us – evolving every time we lock eyes with The New One and each heartbreak that follows before we meet The Next One. Love will come to us over and over if we allow it to take up space in our lives.

Copyright © 2020 by Kiera Hughes

All rights reserved.